It’s been a while. I will be lying if I said I did not think of you all these days. There was a time when I could see nothing beyond you and think nothing apart from you. But now there is a difference, now you are the person who made me realize my self-worth and how wrong I was when I thought of you as the person I would spend my life with.
I still remember the first time we kissed, a shiver went down my spine and as they say, it only happens when you have found your one true love. I held on to that thought till the very end. The End! Something that brought tears every time I even thought about it, something that I never wanted to go through, and something I thought would break me apart and leave me in pieces to die miserably. But look, here I am; happier and more content than I ever was. I never imagined I will be like this strong even after being let down so many times, even after being broken n number of times. But look at me today I’m stronger than ever.
Now that I have gone through it, I realize how wrong I was all along. I have realized my worth and the fact that you do not deserve me, not at any cost. I feel stronger now and the reason is you.
Here I am thanking you for those times.
When I could see nothing beyond you. No matter how you treated me, how much you disrespected me, how you didn’t care a bit, I was simply happy for the fact that you are with me.
When you refused to call me your girlfriend in front of those people who should have known, leaving me wondering what is it that I am lacking that you cannot accept me? WHta is it that you are so ashamed of?. For all the times when I used to look at myself and wonder, am I not good enough for a guy like you?
I used to save your text messages which made me smile, because those were a rarity. Those were my only source of hope when you left my side without any explanations.
When you disappeared suddenly and I would wait for your call with tears of fear in my eyes. When all kind of ‘what if’ situations came to my mind and I would pray for you to be alright and come back soon. The joy I felt when I saw your name pop up on my phone. That feeling is something you will never understand.
When I could hear girls giggling behind you over call, trusting you blindly when you said they are your friends. Ohh! I just remember your last birthday , you said you were celebrating with your guy friends and eventualy ended up celebrating it with a new girl, who you kissed,oh sorry she kissed you.
When I fought with my parents for you, protecting you. when you always held a dagger to my heart and i saw it as a cupids arrow.
When I thought I am being a good girlfriend by obeying all your orders when really I did not have any authority of my own on my own life. For all the times you broke my trust while I was thinking about this magical place full of love, where you and I will live together till death do us part. For the times you made me realise the company I keep is not at all good.
Thank you for all the unanswered calls, unexplained disappearances, unfaithful nights and untruthful promises.Thank you for showing me what not to fight for, what not to cry for and what not to love. It is true that people learn from their mistakes. Thank you for being mine by not being mine.