Trust issues

“The glue that holds all relationships together–including the relationship between the leader and the led–is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” —Brian Tracy

Trust has several connotations. Definitions of trust typically refer to a situation characterized by the following aspect: One party (trustor) is willing to rely on the actions of another party (trustee);  the situation is directed to the future. Okay! I got into technicality too deep. Trust is the belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective etc.

Out of all the things that we want from any relationship (be it with friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends, or someone else) trust is perhaps the most vital. But despite the fact that it’s something that we all want, both in ourselves trusting others and others trusting us, it is one of the hardest things to define. I have not had the best experience with trust. It has been a difficult, excruciating and a painful road for me and I guess it might be the same for most of you. You have been back stabbed, kicked on the ground, being stepped on,and even turned on. People seem to be in a habit of breaking others trust unknowingly and then not realising what they had done, this is the worst of all.

While we were younger it never took a pain for trusting anyone, but as I have grown I’ve realised how difficult it is to trust someone or to maintain the trust someone has on you. I learned about trusting humans the hard way, not many can be trusted. All these years, I have been through many hurtful tests, learning aching lessons leading me to be untrusting. When you trust someone you are really comfortable around them, but if you don’t trust a person you keep your guard up. You prefer to keep your things to yourself rather than being back stabbed.

I am an all guard person. And it has its consequences. Due to my untrusting abilities I am really good at driving people away. People think Trust can be built by knowing the person, yeah that is true but you also have to earn it. Just talking to a person for a while, telling them your problems doesn’t mean you have that persons trust in you. I’ve noticed that people have a tendency to use people for their selfish needs, and just throw them out like anything.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”
-Ernest Hemingway

When Trust is broken….Several things lead to broken trust.

  1. Lies : No person likes being lied to. Lies are the major reason for a persons broken trust. Once a Lier, Always a lier. If you trust a person why the hell do you need to lie. Tel them the truth no matter what it is, and if they really trust you they’ll understand your problem and you won’t have to lie.
  2. Broken Promises : One of the most common reasons. A promise is made to be kept not to be broken. Why promise something when you can’t even fulfill it.
  3. Secrets : When you trust a person you tell them everything and what will happen if somebody you trusted never told you something that you needed to know? Secrets must not be kept from the trusted person, unless it is really necessary.
  4. Feelings and one’s actions : They play a vital role in maintaing trust. You have to be careful that you don’t hurt a person’s trust by your actions. Like with me, my best friend choose my ex over me, and left me empty handed with nothing else than shattered bits of my trust.

In the end, it results in nothing but pain. In the event the trust is loss the person experiences confusion, disorientation and extreme sadness or anger or both. And I have been through all this. And with each experience I have analysed, it allowed me to ged wiser, and learn lessons and gain knowledge, so I never make those same mistakes again.

♥ Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair. ♥

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