A depressed mind…

I’m here just to pour my heart out. I’ve been busy and haven’t written anything all this time. I’ve been struggling with the lemons life has been handing out to me, and trust me juggling these lemons are no less than juggling lava balls.

Have you ever felt empty? I’ve been feeling empty for a long time.

Have you ever been confused about what you are feeling at the moment? Ofcourse you have. But have you felt nothing in the moment where you have to have a large wave of emotions starting from the sea of love.

That is a little part of what i’ve been feeling. I’ve been having vivid thoughts in my mind. I’m thinking about so many things at a time that even i don’t remember what i started thinking about and on what thought i realized what i’ve been thinking about something i don’t even know all this long. I just stare into oblivion and get lost in my never ending invisible thoughts. Yeah i’m on the verge of losing my sanity, i’m batteling my silent battles with the loudest cries which are inaudible to any human in existence.

Anyone who hear these cries declares me insane. I got so many questions to whom nobody has the answer to.Am i just a normal human being going through another phase of life? Is this a phase of life? Or is this what being depressed feels like?

I’m just tierd of faking. Faking smiles, faking emotions, faking happiness… I’m just a human, how am i supposed to conceal my feelings? I’m like a volcano who’ll burst any moment now.

This is my loudest cry for help. I want someone to hold me, and tell me things will be fine. I want to holdonto someone who’ll make me believe in this human race again, and won’t vanish into thin air leaving me in the clouds for me to hit the ground.



“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”
― Jodi Picoult

You might be lonely at time, hurt at times, crushed or even overwhelmed with emotions, but you gotta keep your mask on. Coz, in this world people are waiting for chances to stab you when you open up. Everyone! Yes everyone is looking for a chance to pull you down to the ground, but you gotta keep your head held high, shove them and move on.

Continue reading “Loneliness”

Random thoughts

There are somethings in life which need to end. No matter what they are, friendships, relationships, family, acquaintances…There is an end to everything. And it is not defined whether it will be good or bad. Somethings are meant to end badly and that is what you take to the graves with you. Despite of continuous efforts things never go back the way they were, in this process everyone that is involved gets hurt…These situations are one of the worst. It is either this way or that way, there is no in between! Sometimes it cross the river and goes to the calm shore or it goes back to chaotic shore with storm and turbulence…..
What should be done in these situations?
It is a question with a confusing answer. That answer is not yet found. And I don’t think in the near future will be found.
Troubles, Hardships are a way of life to make you realize that you have to be that strong so that no one, no one can break you! And it teaches you to bear the loss..Loss that you have and will face in life. Losing someone isn’t that easy to cope with but you have to. Once you lose someone/something the possiblity for it to return is very less, but if it returns there is a surity has it was yours a point in life.
We all need someone in our life to depend on, it can be your best friend, boyfriend, sibling, parent, anyone! But it is certain that we will find that somebody in our life and they will stay no matter what!

when you can’t shove your past…

PAST! The Evil of our generation!

Everything comes rushing back to you, when you finally find your sanity again.
A quote from the Lion King says-

“The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it.”

It does hurt! Hurts like hell. hurts that much that sometimes you want to feel numb, other times you wish that you die. You wish you could forget everything that happened or undo it. But This is life, it goes on. You can’t go back and change it; and forgetting it…hahha! We’d need an on and off switch for our emotions.(Yeah! Vampires do have that in “Vampire Diaries”) 

It is normally said holding on to the past  might ruin your present, but believe me it can help you make your present.  It makes you stronger than you already are.  It gives you everything that you need to to go out of your way and do things that you never thought you’ll ever do.   

Its like”we’re along the line and we’re still seeing eye to eye”. Facing your past makes you realize what you could have done and what have you done. I agree its damn difficult to choose between past and present. I will say choose yourself.  

Talk to any random person, a common thing between all will be the evil of their past, which haunts them and won’t ever go away. You know what! Don’t let it haunt you, scare you, in return scare it away.  Be that strong that no one other than you yourself can break you.  

Evils of past brings Guilt amd regrets.  Don’t ever regret what you have done. Do something to make sure you don’t do the same thing again 

Open letter to my Best friend…

Yashasvi!!!!!!!!!!!! This name whenever uttered bring an wide teething smile on my face, because this is the person I love. My one and only love.

I know that there are many of these out there, and this is probably cliche, but here it is anyway.

Having a best friend is like a blessing, but having a best friend like her makes me feel that an angel from heavens came on earth to handle my tantrums. In this world, finding a true friend is so difficult yet I found you. So many people say that they have the absolute best friend but I know that cannot be true, because the very best one is mine. Continue reading “Open letter to my Best friend…”

Understanding the Misunderstanding

Breaking up with best friends is thousand times painful than breaking up from a relationship.

The first question that comes o your mind is…..WHAT THE HELL WENT WRONG?
What lead to this? Why did it happened? And What role and how much role you played in it? Was it intentional or it just happened?

If all these are yet to be answered, and you are certain that the damage won’t repair now. Then you begin to question your ability to trust people, your ability to believe in yourself. Will you be able to regain that trust in people? What happened to the understanding between two best friends. Was it too hard to understand what the other was going through even when you know him/her the best? You used to anticipate each n every move of theirs and now you are blank…you couldn’t even understand that they were misunderstood. Misunderstood by who? By the one who understood everything. IRONIC no?

Sometimes, what has to happpen happenes…If it was destined to happen you have no control over it. Some people come too close, and the suddenly they are ripped apart, exposing you to the cruel and harsh world. That person who knew every flaw, every best in your is now too far that he can’t even hear you. It aches, it aches too much.

Was i too selfish to let my friends slide away while I was busy making myself busy? I’m such a mess. I don’t even know what have i done and what i will do? People have started questioning about our breakup and I have no answers. Please somebody tell me why the hell do such things happen to people with absentmindedness like me.

The damage is beyond repair, and you gotta live with it.

Are the women of our world not as smart as men?

we all know and we all can see that women of our generation are rising above expectations but are they still not able to reach the standards of male competitors?

I just don’t know, what we lack. We women, are not that absent-minded that we end up messing everything. It’s just that rather than taking decisions from brain, we use our heart instead. Its just that we prioritize a persons feelings over anything. Is being sensitive enough has become a bane for us?

Why are we underestimated?

Some people say,

  • It is a given that men are physically superior to women, but arguably mentally also.
  • Men are capable of thinking clearly whereas, women let emotions cloud their judgement.
  • It’s important to realize that rules exist for a reason. The reason men have always dominated and (probably) will continue dominating is because of their strength.
    Whereas, Some say,
  •  While a man could out run a women or do more push ups that a women,they are not superior! Women have just the intellectual capacity as men, and it all depends on the person! Both genders are equipped for different things, and saying women are “INFERIOR” to men because they aren’t as physically strong is unjust. For instance men are “inferior” to women at birthing a baby. Which is more important that beating a female in a push-up competition.
  • We are like two sides of a coin.We both excel at equally important functions and due to the huge capacity for change and adaptions, both can be equally good at both specializations. The question is too vague.
  • How do you Measure inferiority and superiority? I don’t think it’s an objective concept. Men and women are different. Built differently though that can be changed and altered to some degree. No man and woman are the same. We are each capable of different things. Men in general are built to be stronger than woman but of course woman can gain strength and be stronger than many men. Also, strength doesn’t necessarily define one’s placing on the inferiority/superiority chart, does it?

I’m extremely sorry to say, but I find most men as misogynist. They just can’t bear the thoght of being defeated, it is a good thing but sometimes you gotta learn how to face faliure to. Men Please growup.

My question is still unanswered, Is it true that women are uncapable of reaching to men’s level?

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